No Rock And Roll Fun

I'M BEGGING OF YOU, PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY SONG: Things have been quiet at the offices of the Song Listing Society, the purely-speculative body who grant listed songs status to certain tracks to try and ensure that no crap covers of great songs happen. (Of course, this body doesn't actually exist, otherwise Ronan Keating wouldn't.) Then the phone rang - White Stripes to cover Jolene? Now, there's already a definitive version, by Dolly Parton, and a perfect cover, by Strawberry Switchblade, so it's hard to see what the White Stripes would have to add. And, bearing in mind what they did to I Don't Know What To Do With Myself, it's unlikely they'd get a blessing for this one.

Then, another call: Paul Weller to do Sister Sledge. Thinking of You. It sends shudders down your spine, doesn't it? Clearly, only once has the Sledge ever been covered in a half-decent manner, when The Fall did Lost In Music - and, yes, we have heard the Girls Aloud doing Jump, thank you. Again, paperwork will be going out as soon as we're able to stop this in its tracks. At the moment, though, the Song Listing Society has a staff problem - most of their admin team has been sent on secondment to the the Organisation Against Unneccesary Boxsets, who are having to deal with a deluge of Beatles and Nirvana related obscenities.