No Rock And Roll Fun

LEE RYAN: AS SMART AS BECKHAM: An ongoing series, we suspect, as news comes through that he managed to spend one thousand pounds on a takeaway. Being Hugely important, he instructed the Bengal Quay chef to come and heat up the food for him - rather than telling him to go screw himself, the chef set out on a six hour round trip, only to find Ryan had decided to heat up the food himself. Presumably he realised his mummy would never find out he'd been playing with matches and the gas ring.

We can't imagine why anyone would be so desperate to go out and heat a takeaway up for Ryan anyway - presumably hoping to get good seats during next year's pantomime season.

The thing we do like about this report is the opening:

That Indian curry is the latest craze in London is a well known fact...