Thursday, October 28, 2004

OOH, NICKY, YOU'RE SHOCKING: Nicky Wire is the latest "star" to grace the Orange Telephone Company's extended advert slot on ITV, which means, of course, Ananova has a shot of him with Lauren Laverne:

Today, we're reading Lauren's eyes as saying "Are they sure this is Nicky Wire? I really don't want to ask in case it is, and that would be rude." If we could see Nicky's eyes we'd read them, but in their absence, we'll just translate his facial expression - we're getting something along the lines of "izzata lay-dee she sure does smell nice..."

In the programme itself, Nicky doesn't do much to counter the impression he's not got very much to say, taking a pop at The White Stripes, for example:

"There are loads of shit bands out there. White Stripes - I just don't get that at all.

"When they say 'We recorded the whole album in 2 days' its like, yeah it sounds like it. It sounds fucking crap because you recorded it in a second."

But Nicky, do you remember when you were still alive and making wonderful, punchy music? EVOL, for example, sounds like it took less long to record than the record actually lasts. Are you really telling us now that it's impossible to make a decent record unless you spend a John Squire's length of time doing so?

And while we agree with him that Jet aren't much cop ("Jet are so bad. Their music has the mental age of a foetus.") we'd disagree that their music has the mental age of a foetus - their problem is that their music is already forty bloody years old, surely?

Once, Nicky and Richey would take the green room booze and sit aloof from the acts of the day backstage. Now, Nicky's hanging out with them:

He does, however, have praise for another chart star, Daniel Bedingfield, who he bumped into on CD:UK: "He is an absolute, brilliant, nutter actually. He's truly warped and mad - in a good way."

In what way is Daniel Bedingfield "warped"? He might just qualify for going "Don't mind me, I'm mad" like the woman in the office who has a nodding Churchill dog on top of her computer monitor, or someone from a Hairbrush Divas compilation advert on the television, but is Nicky really trying to convince us his new chum is the Syd Barrett of the age?

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