No Rock And Roll Fun

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: Yes, on a Wednesday, like it should be
The tiny, tiny eyes of Pete Doherty, stripped to the waste (sic) peer out of the NME front page. He looks like... well, nothing on earth, actually. We're not sure what's more unexpected - Doherty turning up to a play a gig or the nme arriving on Wednesday.


As we hoped, there's a picture of gorgeous, pouting Matt Phillips, the leather clad (probably) pretty boy of the BPI crack squad illustrating the piece on the BPI legal action. Meanwhile, BPI head honcho Peter Jamieson seems a bit confused about why they're doing the legal actions against the 28 "massive uploaders" - "we're not trying to put people in jail; we're not doing it to make money, we're doing it to demonstrate its the wrong thing to do and publicise the legal services" - eh? The lawsuits are in lieu of adverts for iTunes on the side of buses? Really? It still smacks of a confused response that the BPI have been bounced in to with the aim of making their friends in the RIAA seem to be less out-on-a-limb. Indeed, Cary Sherman turns up to say "A global problem requires a global response and that is why the actions taken by our international colleagues are so welcome."

Peter Robinson takes on Lauren Laverne. She's so sweet, she's even nice about Scott Mills. Mind you, she also claims that that Orange advert disguised as a TV pop show is a good programme.

Apparently London's Burning, so there's a face-off between The Paddingtons and Special Needs, although Paddingtons come from Hull. Special Needs win, um, some sort of prize.

"Even after a short while, though, it becomes clear that everyone's treating Pete like he's wrapped in cotton wool... he's also a pretty lost, forlorn figure." Pat Long's report from the Babyshambles tourbus is a great piece; it's the second time in a month or so an NME writer makes a singer cry - Doherty bursts into tears when asked about the Barat/Morrissey cover - and if there ever was an NME golden age, this probably makes 2004 part of it.

McFly seem to be put out that Daniel Radcliffe doesn't like them; this being the live issue there's a couple of space-fil... um, background colour pieces on groupies, stupid stuff bands do on stage and stuff. And live posters:Franz ferdinand, Razorlight, Ramones, Nirvana, The Jam, White Stripes and The Libertines. We've actually established a single keystroke which pastes this list straight into the review, as it seems to be the same posters more or less each week.

Bloc Party's Matt Tong files a report on his band's first trip to play US gigs. Immigration holds no fears for the band, except one guy who's convinced Kele is Wyclef and keeps pushing for a chorus of Killing Me Softly.

reviews
live
le tigre - berlin palais kulturbrauerei - "the sound of someone kicking the Beastie Boys in the balls"

albums
various - bring your own poison - "an artefact so now it'll probably be out of date by the time you reach the end of this review", 6
robbie williams - greatest hits - "halfway through... Robbie settles for a career in pop parody", 7
minnie driver - everything i've got in my pocket - "just fairly nice", 5

singles
sotw
nine black alps - cosmopolitan - "woof and most definitely woof"
hangar 18 - beatslope - "hip-hop magnificance"
eastern lane - I said pig on friday - "grinds and clangs and grooves"

and finally: next week, NME gets even better. So says the ad at the back. Although the phrase "A hilarious new back page" makes us nervous.