No Rock And Roll Fun

FIAT LUX: News reaches us of great upsetment in Cambridge, where the local council turned away from their usual choice of Christopher Biggins to do the job of flicking the switch for the Christmas lights. In favour of The Damned. Sadly, this probably reflects less well on The damned than they would hope - for although it proves they still have the ability to create outrage, it also means that the burghers of Cambridge see them as part of a grand pantomime tradition rather than a threat to society.

Still, Cambridge got off more easily than Milton Keynes, who this year have a Snowman theme. Marking the point where boy and frozen chum fly above it, the mall owners have built a replica of Brighton Pavilion for Santa's grotto. Which would be fine, were it not for the fuckwads of the BNP, who spotted the domed ceilings and flew into an enormous rant about how - what with political correctness gone mad and everything - Milton Keynes had put santa into a mosque. When their error was pointed out to them, they were forced into an awkward climbdown. But it does raise the question: if they're so certain they're talking for the heart of the nation, how come they're unable to recognise one of the nation's most famous landmarks?

More to the point: could we persuade Brighton council to build a mini replica of Milton Keynes Mall in the Pavilion grounds?