HOW IT ALMOST CERTAINLY DIDN'T HAPPEN: Following on from yesterday morning, when Elton John said "fucking" during the Chris Moyles show, BBC DG Mark Thompson went storming into the Radio One offices.

"I was just driving into work, and I had Radio One's breakfast show on. How the hell did that fuck get on air?" yells Thompson.

"Well, he was working on commercial radio in Leeds when we hired him, and while he may be a fuck, he's put on six hundred thousand listeners..."