No Rock And Roll Fun

JANET JACKSON STOPS WORLD WAR II: In the spirit of remembrance day, ABC had planned to show American viewers Saving Private Ryan tonight, the movie very loosely based on World War II. However, with the FCC having expensive and expansive new powers to punish rudeness on US TV post-Jackson/Superbowl/Timberlake/Tit incidents, ABC have decided not to risk the movie's twelve fucks (we could use our Chris Moyles gag with Tom Hanks in the starring role, of course). The network is unable to replace the rude words with bleeps or dubbing over an actor saying "Oh, dear" because Speilberg has a contract refuses to let anyone mess with his work.