No Rock And Roll Fun

PAPERS, PLEASE, FESTIVAL GOER: It's sometimes easy to forget that Michael Eavis stood as a New Labour candidate an election or two back; he didn't win a seat, which is a pity, as he'd obviously be a brilliant Home Office minister: He's planning to bring photo ID cards in, in place of tickets, for Glastonbury.

We're not entirely sure how this could even have a hope of working: would you have to upload a picture when you bought the ticket? What if you bought online? Or would you have to send a photo in? And if you did, how would you be able to prove that the person whose face was sent in was actually the person who bought the ticket, and not just someone who bought them on Ebay? There's some vague muttering that this would cut out forgeries, but how, exactly, would it be possible to stop people forging tickets just because there was a photo on it? "Ooh, we've managed to crack fake watermarks, foiling, and holograms - but printing a picture of a face? That's really game over."

The reason why people forge Glasto tickets are because they're worth forging as they're so expensive. Introducing a whole new level of faux-sophistication to the tickets will drive the price up. That will actually make them even more worthwhile as a target for forgers. Remember: even if the new security measures mean people get caught trying to get in using wonky tickets, it won't actually stop people making and selling fakes - and, generally, those people won't be bothered if the tickets don't get anyone onto the site or not, as they'll have long since banked the cash and disappeared.