No Rock And Roll Fun

TOO DAMN NEAR OUR HOUSE: Oh, what have we done to deserve this? Oasis are going to come to Milton Keynes, trailing their fans after them like a raggle-taggle bunch of thirtysomethings. It's part of what the band laughingly refer to as a "tour" - Hampden Park (June29), Mancheter City's ground (July 2nd) and MK Bowl (July 9th). They're asking GBP32.50, which seems to be a bit of cheek considering how rubbish they were at Glastonbury, when even the perpetually upbeat Michael Eavis said he was disappointed. Anyway, we imagine they'll find enough people happy to shell out the cash.