OH, PISS: We'd spent the morning happily planning what we would do when - close enough to catch Chris Martin's eye, we'd slowly reveal something written on our hands. This joy had come from the news that Coldplay were meant to be about to embark on a series of small club-level venues to soft-launch the new album. But the news appeared in The Sun, and, like much of News International's output, it wasn't actually accurate. The label says that the 'Play will be in the US when they're meant to be doing the uni gigs. But why should that be a problem? Why not send any bunch of wan chaps to do the gigs - it's not like anyone knows what a coldplay looks like, is it?