No Rock And Roll Fun

WE DON'T KNOW WHO'S DOING HIS PR, BUT... THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO WORK AGAIN, ARE THEY?: The most positive thing we can think of is that he's attempting to demonstrate that he's so other-worldly that he doesn't understand the gravity of the legal charges he's facing, but it's just as likely that Jackson really doesn't care how greeting two hundred kids to a special secret party looks to the outside world.

The kids were met at Neverland by Michael Jackson and Santa - a fabulous figure who brings delight by having children sit on his knee before presenting them with a surprise from deep within his sack, and a bloke in a fake beard and red suit.

One of the curiosities is that some of the kids came from the church attended by Jacko's defence attorney, Thomas Mesereau Jr. Or at least, that's what reporters were told. The church in question, the First AME Church in Los Angeles, said that it hadn't authorised any such stunt ("trip"). Funny, that.