No Rock And Roll Fun

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: Another Sunday edition
If the rumours that have found their way into Private Eye are to be believed, The Observer Music Monthly might not be much longer for the news-stand: there's a predicition that it'll be going the way of all woodpulp come March.

The NME is in the second week of three weeks of Cool List fun, offering a CD showcasing some of the acts caught in last weeks controversial, crack-endorsing Cool List - including Art Brut, Babyshambles and Joanna Newsom. There's no space for The Libertines, which is odd, considering that Carl was joint number one choice, and they have found space for Goldie Lookin' Chain. Next week, it's posters. Carl probably won't be too upset, though: he's nabbed a spot in the next Client video, which will more than make up for it.

The big news picture is from U2's ego parade at the side of the Brooklyn Bridge; supposedly the "biggest guerilla gig" in the world, although it clearly wasn't: MTV filmed the lot, and there's no way Viacom would have been involved post-janet's nipple unless all the paperwork was in place.

The Bees make up a CD with Buffalo Springfield and Prince on it.

Xzibit takes on Peter Robinson: Peter offers him a large amount of bread in the form of openings to make gags about how usher is clearly gay, huh huh huh, and X duly makes himself many helpings of nusery-insult sandwich.

Ian Parkinson - head of "specialist" music at Radio One - pops up to defend Rob De Do Do Do De Da Da Da Bank in the light of last week's slating at the hand of Duncan Bell. He doesn't really give Rob much of a ringing endorsement, basically painting the picture of a man sent over to keep the shop going while the accountants decide if it's worth saving. No wonder Bank's sounded less comfortable and confident this week - listeners have been noticing that he's starting to try and distance himself from some of the music he's playing , and you'd have to wonder the extent that the boss describing him as "holding the fort" and "minding the shop" - in other words, hinting that this is only going to be a short-term gig - has influenced that.

Kasabian are the cover act, claiming to be the best band in britain; the claim seems endorsed by the strapline "1989 The Stone Roses... 1994 Oasis... 2004 Kasabian" - so that presumably means we can expect one decent album and then a quick descent into drug-addled tosh. Tom Kasabian thinks we need our "eardrums saving."

There's a 28 IF style shaking of Eminem's Encore, sifting the evidence to see if Eminem is now dead. It's done in a way that, if it is the end, they can go "told you", but if there's another album they can say "Only joking..."

Isaac Brock out of Modest Mouse has done hard time for, um, driving while taking laughing gas; he pretended to be suicidal to avoid getting raped. Now, of course, he just dresses up as a giant crow. The wonders of rehabilitation, eh? Elizabeth Fry would be proud.

reviews
live
delays at becky matthews house - she won a gig from them in some sort of competition. Colin Fox manages to plunge the gig into darkness by leaning on the lightswitch.
conor oberst - London ULU - "most of the fans probably go straight home to spend the rest of the year quaking under the duvet"

albums
bloa - gnayse - "the title is the only daft thing about it", 8

tracks
totw - dangermouse - encore - "absolutely brilliant"
elliott smith - pretty (ugly before) - "what a waste"
ash - renegade cavalcade - "US friendly dumb rock"