No Rock And Roll Fun

I'M MY OWN MOTHER: If you fancy some old-fashioned family values, how about Sharon allowing Kelly Osbourne to play her in the Osbournes TV movie? We have a little while to wait until this wonderful project hits the screens, as Sharon is having trouble casting someone as Ozzy (although we imagine Jack keeps coughing politely whenever the subject comes up):

"It has great potential but it will be hard to cast someone to play Ozzy.

"He is rather unique, you see, and it will take a big man to fill those shoes."

What do you mean? Even my Dad can do an impression of Ozzy Osbourne, and he doesn't even know who he is (note to self: check his medication levels); Ozzy is so easy to do even John Culshaw manages a decent version on Dead Ringers. Not being able to find someone to play Ozzy is like a schoolteacher saying that there's nobody able to carry off the role of 'tree' in a school play.