No Rock And Roll Fun

MORE FUN WITH THE SIMPSONS: Having so badly botched the Saturday Night Live performance, and then blamed it all on her drummer and acid reflux (neither of which would explain why she bolted and left her band to fill on a live network TV show), and then blown her rehabilitation gig by just being plain awful at the Orange Bowl, Ashlee Simpson is now back again with a whole heap of reasons why, you know, that wasn't her fault, either:

"There were no ear monitors when we went on stage."

In other news: "It was the chisel and hammer" claims shoddy workman

"And trying to sing in a stadium where you can't hear yourself is kinda hard."

To be honest, love, if you really couldn't hear yourself you should be considering yourself lucky. It's odd that professional singers manage to somehow overcome these difficulties without being quite so terrible. As was demonstrated by the booing. All those boos. But apparently, that wasn't Ashlee's fault, either.

"I was facing the Oklahoma Sooners [which had a bigger crowd on hand], and I was rooting for USC, and they played a clip of it, so maybe it was that those people didn't like me."

Perhaps it was. Or maybe you're just rubbish. As it is, Ashlee did manage to squeeze out a Prince Harry style 'apology' that isn't:

"Maybe they were booing at me, maybe they were booing at the halftime show because the whole thing sucked. If they didn't like the performance, and that's what it was about, then sorry to them."

'Sorry' seems to be the aptest word for this whole tale, really. Some civic minded people are demanding that it's time the whole thing was brought to a natural, loving end by petitioning for her to retire:

We, the undersigned, are disgusted with Ashlee Simpson's horrible singing and hereby ask her to stop. Stop recording, touring, modeling and performing. We do not wish to see her again.

She cannot match the sound of her voice that can be found on her CDs, when she sings live. She simply yells the words (sometimes the wrong ones) into the mic.

We are so sickened by her "performing" that we are taking this opportunity to demand that she stop.

They're just shy of 17,000 takers so far.