No Rock And Roll Fun

PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE? OKAY. NO, HANG ON. NO: More pleading from Ashlee Simpson, the New Labour of the slightly pretty, fairly dim blonde singers, this time in a Us Weekly interview:

"It's like people are after me! The thing is, I've only been performing for a short time," Ashlee explained. "I'm not perfect and have never claimed to be perfect. But I'm learning - every time I perform, I'm growing. And I'm taking voice lessons. I am still very young, very new to this business. But one day I'm going to be exactly what I hope to be." Ashlee added, "To my fans: Thank you for sticking by me. To my critics: Please pick on somebody else!"

Righto, Ashlee, so let's get this straight: you've done high-profile gigs, live network telly, you're admitting that you're nowhere near good enough for that level of performance and you want us to not rip the piss out of you. Remind us why, exactly? It's only in the entertainment industry that you get this strange belief that it doesn't matter if you turn up to do jobs you're not qualified for - how would she feel if the next time she goes to get a spot of cosmetic buffing the surgeon said "I'm new here, and I've only ever done hangnails before, but I'll have a crack at poking about with your tits, shall I? You can tell those medical malpractice lawyers to go pick on somebody else..."