No Rock And Roll Fun

RALUPOP: It's like Popular, only backwards Yes, to celebrate (if that's the right word, and in so many ways it isn't) the 1000th British Number One single, we're ripping off NYLPM's Popular feature, only doing it backwards, and only until our heart runs cold and our fingers refuse to type. Which might not take very long.

1000: Elvis Presely - One Night.
The sort of thing which shows how short-sighted record companies are, really. It's almost a cute stunt, this re-releasing every Elvis number one, one-a-week, but in a crucially weakened singles market, it's the sort of idea that's almost designed to kill off any remaining interest in the format as surely as, say, bringing back Dirty Den would evaporate any sense of interest in EastEnders. Not only does it mean that we're looking at eighteen weeks when the number one slot is occupied by a guy who was dead before most of the Kid's grandparents were born, and any sense of competition for the number one slot totally crushed even before the release schedule has been posted up for the last six weeks; worse, it means that in a week when everyone is going to be putting in the eyepiece and inspecting the charts for its vital signs, instead of finding evidence of how British Youth is expressing itself through that most vital of forms, pop music, there's that bloke who died on the bog squatting at the top of the tree. People who don't pay much heed to the chart because it's viewed as being inherently broken will be having their suspiscions confirmed. RCA have done a nice little bit of grandstanding, done their Elvis back catalogue a bit of a gentle push - and in the process have done a load of harm to their wider industry.

What makes it worse, of course, is that it's a shit Elvis record, even by his standards. Nobody's heard of it, and when they do hear it, it's a plod with Elvis singing in that nasal tone which Bob Dylan was pretending was his real voice a few years back until we all threw bread rolls at him.

Our heart has gone cold, and our fingers refuse to type.