No Rock And Roll Fun

WHY MUST THEY DO THIS TO US? WHY?: If someone finds themselves down Horseferry Road in the next couple of days, could they do us a favour and just pop their head round Channel 4's front door and scream "Nooooooo." Everyone has a soft spot for Bez, of course, and that was shown by his Celebrity Big Brother win. But try and turn Bez into the new Ozzy Osbourne with a witless "reality" show and he'll burn through that feeling of goodwill faster than Shaun Ryder going through the doves. The kindest thing would be leaving him alone to enjoy his rather long dotage; further shows would be little more than exhibiting a half-wit for the public's amusement.

Oh, and while you're there, if you also get a chance to fill Jimmy Carr's pockets with birdseed and take him down the vulture display at the zoo, we'd appreciate that, too.