No Rock And Roll Fun

YOU LACHEY, LACHEY PEOPLE: We're sure people other than his immediate family will be delighted to hear that Nick Lachey has signed to Jive Records, but we're having trouble thinking of who they might be. We're not even sure than Jive will be all that thrilled - we picture the scene when he comes in to talk about future plans and the boss will turn to his sidekick and say "You doughnut... I said Nick Carter"; but all 160,000 people who bought his 2003 SoulO (or 'sold-zero' as it's known round here) will be delighted they can upgrade.

Hang about - that's who'll be happy: Universal, his old label. Laughing themselves to sleep, they will be.