No Rock And Roll Fun

A CHILD ABUSE TRAIL WITH THE STARS: It seems that the Jackson defence team - with, apparently, not much else to offer - are going to try and turn the trial into a Save Michael telethon. They're promising, suggesting or hoping to call a range of witnesses - Liz Taylor, Diana Ross, David Blaine, Nick Carter, Larry King and Jay Leno as "witnesses" in the case; presumably witnesses to Michael not touching children. That should prove interesting:

- Mr. Leno; you are famous?
- I am
- Have you ever seen Michael Jackson abusing children?
- No
- No further questions

In effect, this is going to be a line-up of nothing more than glitzy character witnesses (although a man who dangles in a box above the Thames, a woman married more times than Ken Barlow; the DUI diva - these are hardly people whose version of "normal" is going to chime with people who are on a jury). Still, it's great news for lookalike agencies, as they'll be kept busy as E! hires for its reconstruction of the trial.

Kobe Bryant is also on the list.

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