Tuesday, February 22, 2005

MR. GALLAGHER, YOU'RE SPOILING US: It's hard to imagine that the new Oasis album will be anything other than a bunch of splodge produced by two blokes who live a softy lifestyle hob-nobbing with the pretty and vapid, but let's give Noel the benefit of the doubt for just a moment.

No, sorry, everytime we try to clear our mind to pretend that Oasis have any relevance to modern life, we find ourselves thinking about lemurs instead. Anyway, here's Noel who has finally finished the sixth album:

Describing the past year as “difficult”, Gallagher said: “Not difficult in that everyone’s been feeling down about things, just frustrating that we thought we got to the finishing line, but when it came to it, it just wasn’t worthy of putting out.”

You see, you could suggest that that proves there's still a really strong rock heart that burns in Noel's chest, not prepared to put out a substandard album.

Sorry, though, it doesn't, does it? It really suggests that the band are so surrounded by 'yessir, mister noel, sir' licker-ups that they didn't realise how poor their two year's work was until it got heard by the outside world. They're like the Royal Family, caught in their own version of reality that is perfect until you ask someone from the world everybody else lives in it join it.

He added: “The longer that we took to do the album, the better it had to be because of the time from the last one. When it was two years, we asked was it good enough after two years of fucking about and now we have to ask if it’s good enough after three years.”

But this time, things are clearly going to be different. They wouldn't stick out a stinker after having had to scrap one... no, it's no good...

... he's back.


blogingblogblog said...

If Oasis has no relevance to modern life why are you writing about them?
I suppose that would mean your opinions and comments have no relevance to modern life. Or maybe, deep down inside you know Oasis still rocks and you just don't have the self esteem to stand up to whatever Oasis bashing friends you have.
So the next time you're alone in your room, rocking out Oasis maybe you should give your friends a call and say, "Hey loser, put down that Bloc Party CD. I love Oasis and so should you."

simon h b said...

Aha... I see what you're assuming there - it's "you always hate the one you love"; the "self-hating homosexual" applied to music fannery.

Let me reassure you: I don't actually own any Oasis records - I used to; I had Live Forever on 7" which I leant to a friend for her 30th Birthday party; her dj didn't return it at the end of the night. I also wound up with two copies of What's The Story; I gave both of them away.

Really: I'm not afraid to stand up and say "I like this", regardless of what anyone else thinks. Honestly. But thanks for your concern.

And why do I write about Oasis if they have no relevance to modern life? Because they seem to think they still do.

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