No Rock And Roll Fun

NME AWARDS: The gongs have been distributed, the chairs have been folded, and the winners have been paid in hairproducts for the NME awards:

Best British Band – The Libertines

We've not seen any small print to see if this applies to pre- or post- Pete version of the band...

Godlike Genius Award – New Order

We've been meaning to go back and see just how many times New Order won nme polls in the past - not that many, we're guessing; but then sometimes the genius lies in breadth of survival than depth of effect.

Best Album – Franz Ferdinand’s ‘Franz Ferdinand’

Probably making up for the empty-handed trip home from the Grammys last week, then. A little.

Best Event – Paul McCartney/Glastonbury 2004

The sharper-eyed amongst you will have noticed that a name has suddenly appeared in the best event category. The shortlist nomination was for Glastonbury; but it appears that Macca had his name written in in a hurry when he turned up for the presentation. Presumably he popped along to keep himself busy while his missus was filming tonight's Question Time.

Best Live Band – Muse

Again, Muse quietly pick up another award. In twenty year's time, people will assume reading poll results that Britain was a nation who were Muse-mad in a way that we're almost certainly not.

Best New Band – Razorlight

So both the best band and the best new band seem to be less than likely to be around this time next year - that's got to be a first, surely?

Best Solo Artist – Graham Coxon

Mozzer and The Streets fail to turn general critical acclaim into NME silverware; this could be the closest thing to an upset in these prizewinners.

Best Track – Franz Ferdinand’s ‘Take Me Out’

Well, yes. Of course.

Best International Band – The Killers

This, equally, is quite a surprise - The Strokes were lazy all year, U2 are arses and Kings Of Leon too hairy to be taken to anyone's hearts - but the Scissor Sisters must be a little surprised at losing this one to the Killers.

The Phillip Hall Radar Award – Kaiser Chiefs

Well, their chap was very good on Buzzococks this week...

Best Video – Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’

Really? Wasn't it more 'nice sentiment, shame about the execution'?

Best Music DVD – Oasis’ ‘Definitely Maybe’

I suppose it depends how you define "best", "music" and "DVD". Although we can't come up with any defintion that actually works for this. Even if you liked the album when it first came out - and can set aside the horrific, gnarled growl-hooter that Oasis became - ten years on, the record sounds pretty much of its time, and visually not even that inspiring. It's as if NME readers had elected to make one of those Time-Life compilations of the 70s Album of the Year.

Best Film – ‘Shaun Of The Dead’

Simon Pegg was handing out awards tonight, you know. But it was nice for Americans to show interest in a British movie that was neither set in the past, nor featuring Hugh Grant.

Best TV Show – ‘Little Britain’

Popbitch posters this week was complaining that Little Britain was a collection of poorly-considered characters attacking straw-light stereotypes through repetition of a bunch of stock phrases.

Best Radio Show – Zane Lowe

We'd quite like to see Radio One enforce a Lammo/Whylo partnership back into the evening sess slot; perhaps by pairing up Lowe with, say, Sarah Kennedy.

Best Dressed – Brandon Flowers, The Killers

Even if the Scissors could cope with not getting International artists, Jake must be fuming: "but at least I make an EFFORT..."

Worst Dressed– Britney Spears

Do they mean on or off stage? Because off stage she might not always dress up like she's Zsa Zsa Gabor; but is she that badly dressed when she's on?

Best Live Venue – London Carling Brixton Academy

As we ascertained when the nominations came out: should have been Glasgow.

Best Website – NME.COM

We'd imagine that the Electoral Commission is being called in to double check this one. Robert Mugabe came second.

Hero Of The Year – John Peel

The NME doesn't do "well done for dying" prizes often, and when it does, they're generally well-deserved.

Villain Of The Year – George W Bush

That's nothing... wait to see what he's doing now...

Sexiest Man – Brandon Flowers, The Killers

Now you're just being silly.

Sexiest Woman – Gwen Stefani

Very, very silly.

Worst Album – Busted’s ‘A Present For Everyone’
Worst Band – Busted

Shhh, shhh, my children, they've gone now.

music awards nme