No Rock And Roll Fun

ROCK WIVES ON TV: We weren't very impressed with Heather Mills on Question Time last night, but we weren't sure if that was because she came across like she was only just now getting used to having opinions, and they didn't really seem to be fitting comfortably, so we've decided it might be worth calling in expert opinion. We've dropped a quick email to Paul Shorting, who works as a business area manager for Insys, a weapons manufacturer, to see if he had an expert opinion he could share with us. We'll let you know.

Meanwhile, Sharon Osbourne's Asda adverts have started to air, and they're worse than the basic concept (charmless money-grubber does deal with large corporation with sketchy record on employee's rights) made it sound. Sharon pushes a trolley round Asda and yet seems to be convinced she's a busy working mother. Of course, she does work - we don't know why, but she does - and her constant appearance all over the place does seem to suggest that she's busy. It's the mother bit we're having difficulty understanding. Sure, she has kids, but the way she talks in the advert, you'd think her children were barely suckled, never mind actual adults. "Let's see what difference Asda can make to the tough old world of being a Mum", says the woman who had the resources to hire whatever help she needed when her kids were small and clearly hasn't set foot in a supermarket since they used to have a separate counter where you bought your eggs in a big brown bag. Picking up a stack of DVDs, she cackles "this'll keep the kids quiet for a couple of weeks." Sharon: your kids are grown up, two of them have recording contracts and one works for a bloody record company. You don't have to stick them in front of Bambi on DVD to get a couple of minutes peace to let you clean jam marks off the table. That isn't your life, and we know it isn't your life. Why on earth hire a woman to pretend to be a mother of a young family who's best known for being the head of a bunch of infantile adults?

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