No Rock And Roll Fun

SOME MORE ON THE BRITS: Firstly, Elvis Presley has a couple of interesting points to offer:

For all the disappointment on the night, eloquent art rockers Kasabian did say they'd retire if they didn't win the best live act Brit, though unlike Welsh rugby fans they don't seem the honourable types to see their promises through.

On a more sinister tip, the Brits normally do their level best to make sure that the gongs are handed out evenly amongst all the big labels, but this year SonyBMG have joined forces and seen their haul drop away to Will Young for best single. Fair enough, having Natasha Bedingfield, Kasabian and Maroon 5 as your frontrunners isn’t a great start, but pushing crap has never stopped anyone from coming away with their share in the past.

Thanks for that, Elvis - but we do think it's essential that Kasabian are held to their pledge - after all, they wouldn't want everything they do from now on to be tainted by people saying "Weren't you supposed to have broken up when you lost the Brits?" and then jabbing them, and going "eh? eh?"

Meanwhile, after the hoopla of ITV's Brits, there came the even-more-pointless ITV2 programme: a half-hour "aftershow" party which would have been of dubious value if it had been broadcast as it was happening; that someone presumably knew what was in the programme and decided to air it anyway (when they could, say, have run a nice old Ever Decreasing Circles or something) is frankly bemusing.

Anchored - in the rhyming slang sense - by Colin Murray, and with Lauren Laverne roped in as well, the thing was just bemusing. The prizewinners would come on, there'd be nothing to ask them, and they'd go off again. Except for Robbie Williams, who didn't actually want to leave and so was still cluttering up the sofa when Franz Ferdinand came on. Robbie was just blurting nonesense, banging on to Lauren about how she used to be fat and then trying to tap off with her - because "I'm not gay" (has any heterosexual man ever said the words 'I'm not gay' in a situation where nobody had asked him?).

None of which, though, was the most pointless part of the programme, as they'd invited a couple of "experts" to sit on the sofa alongside Colin Murray on the ITV2 banquette: Liz McClarnon (ex-Atomic Kitten - how soon they forget) and STUART CABLE, defrocked Stereophonics drummer. Obviously, anyone still working in the music industry would have been at a proper aftershow party, but is that the best they could do? (In the context of this programme, no, clearly).

music kasabian brits robbie_williams lauren_laverne