No Rock And Roll Fun

FRED AND THE FEDS: Now we're getting confused - didn't Fred Durst say the other day that his tiny-penis-show video had been taken from a computer he'd put in for fixing? And yet, oddly, now he's claiming - in a lawsuit - that he was hacked, by the same people who hacked Paris Hilton's mobile device. Durst's lawyer, Edwin McPherson, claims in the lawsuit that the FBI are investigating the Hilton and Durst cases as "connected events" - well, they are, as in they're both minor celebs who have got their bits out on camera and then act surprised when the video comes to the top of a google search engine. Durst is trying to have the sites carrying the video closed down, and their computers taken off them.

The amusing aspects of this, of course, is that Durst claims that there will be "irreparable damagge" if anyone sees this video. But since he never intended the video to be made public, his claims of breach of copyright - while accurate - don't mean he's suffered any financial loss; it's hard to see how his dickwad jockboy image could be anything other than enhanced by the clear evidence that, contrary to appearances, he isn't a paranoid virgin; so the only thing we can assume he means is that he's afraid people will be laughing at his pee-pee.

There's also some confusing stuff in the legal document - it says page 5, line 1 that Durst "set up the camera angle and position" but also that he "held the camera throughout" - which seems to be a bit cotradictory; unless Durst has an arm like those cameras which absorb the movement of your body. Also, spookily, on page 5, line 15, the lawsuit states that Durst was contacted by a porn website "on or about December of 2005" - nine months from now. "Fred... I am the ghost of Christmas Porn Future..."

What we can't believe, though, is that any self-respecting porn website would have been trying to cut a deal with Fred in the first place...

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