No Rock And Roll Fun

GROUND OASIS: Everyone's least favourite shamblers Oasis are having bother - first up, the union for workers on Australian planes are calling for the Brothers Grunt to be banned from flying across the continent, after their last visit there when their cock of the school antics went down badly. Secondly, Legitimate Manchester Businessmen have been making the band offers of a "can't refuse" nature - supposedly threatening to kidnap Liam if the boys didn't take them on as protection. As if - who the hell would want that whiney twat locked up in their broom closet? And even if they had grabbed him - how bothered would Noel be at losing his own blood Ridgeley?
Oasis rumpus [ITV] - almost as unbelievable as ITV having a news service on its website