When the going gets tough, the tough apply to convocation

If Billy Ocean deserves an honorary doctorate for writing Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car and the theme to that Michael Douglas movie from back when Michael Douglas was a fairly charming man and not so obsessed with a sense of his own greatness only someone as apparently blind to every nuance of their own surroundings as Catherine Zeta Jones could manage to spend any time in his presence, then what on that scale would, say, Costello or Clinton or, dammit, Haines deserve?