Cheap shot of the day

Keith Richards should be careful taking on the conservationists - before too long he might be relying on them to shore up his craggy face.

Seriously, it's as simple as this, Keef - you bought a house with a public footpath running across the land. If you're afraid that allows 'nutters' and the paparazzi to get too near you, move. It really is that easy.

Besides, as we've said before - altering a footpath isn't going to save you from 'nutters'. The bloke who went to truss up Stephen Speilberg and rape him was going to go across his land - he didn't get to the fence and say "Oh, no bridleway? I'll take my nipple clamps back home, then. Forced buggery is one thing, but if it means trespassing to anally invade someone, I'm not prepared to go there."