Avril Love-In

Okay, it's not. It's more bashing Avril. Hey, we know we're just a h8r boi, but Avril's got the cover of Rolling Stone (back with the tried and slightly undressed formula after the godawful beatles and phish experiments):


And she's clearly not showing off her booty there. Though she might if she turned round. As for the promise to not flash tits or belly - well, you can't expect her to keep delivering on all three promises at once, can you?

The interview also slaps the face of anyone who'd pegged her as being a bit thick, too - you're so wrong. A bit is not the word. Challenged about not being able to pronounce David Bowie's name properly, she says "but i was born in 1984" (doesn't stop her dropping names like AC/DC or Nirvana though, does it? - oh, and there's another example of her saying "I like punk rock" there, something she now denies doing of course); her claims to have written Complicated and that all the Matrix did were to make it sound a bit less hard rock are dismissed by her actual songwriters - they say Avril's contribution to the song was to change "stupid clothes" to "preppy clothes" (we're guessing the phrase "take off all your preppy clothes" was something her stylist said to her) and then there's this:

"And that's not the only reason why I don't dance around like a ho onstage, but it definitely has something to do with being brought up with tons of morals. And I'm not saying I'll never write a song with a curse word, because there's definitely been times when it's like, 'Aww, man, "fuck" would sound so good there!' But then I think about my mom, and how it would probably hurt her," she says, laughing quietly. "So I just say 'frig' instead."

Yes, sweetheart. That would make all the difference. The lack of fucks on your record nothing to do with The Matrix knowing that you'd not get access to the all important Walmart market, then.