Fighting fire with ire

At this rate, we might have to spin off a separate Michael Jackson Mad service. So, today's Jacko news is that he's supposedly about to release video of Martin Bashir praising him on how he looked after his kids. We want to see this, if only to find what words Bashir uses - "well done for not dropping him"; "actually, they're so ugly you're doing well to keep their faces covered up"; "I see you've not chopped the children into small pieces and dropped their remains, chunk by chunk, into the lion cage at the local zoo - well done"? But the trouble is Jackson is badly missing the point - Bashir could appear in the middle of the Superbowl presenting Jacko with one of those 'World's Greatest Dad' mugs you can buy in Hallmark, and it wouldn't matter.

There's a split between people who think Jackson might be fiddly-kid man and those who don't, certainly, but everyone No Rock has come across has expressed a lack of conviction in his parenting skills. And that's not because of anything Bashir said or did; if Michael wants to blame the person whose words condemned him, he should buy a mirror. Although we can think of reasons why he wouldn't want to.

Oh, actually, to be fair, didn't the surrogate mother of Blanket say that she thought that jackson was a wonderful dad? So at least we know the cheque cleared.