No Rock And Roll Fun

STONE DRY FOR TWENTY-TWO YEARS: According to a poll organised by Mojo, even the biggest Rolling Stones fans don't think they've made a half-decent single in the last twenty-two years. Since Start Me Up, in fact, which was the only thing written since the 70's which made it into the Top 50. (Yeah, the Beatles fans might snicker but when did they last write something decent, eh?). Actually, we think this is a little harsh - we have a sneaking regard for Undercover - but it does raise a huge question. Why are people still going to see them live? If all they want is the old stuff, couldn't they just get that from those bands called things like The Rolling Stoned or the Strolling Bones or any other tribute act? Why keep paying a small fortune to see men ageing rapidly - often visibly so, across the length of one of their sets - when the words "An' this is waaan offfov tha New Album…" has been putting the fear of God into the crowd since BBC Two came on the air?

Even allowing for Start Me Up and Undercover, all this suggests they'd have been better off splitting when the Beatles did and giving more time to their solo careers.

[Plays Je Suis Un Rock Star on internal jukebox]

Or maybe not.