No Rock And Roll Fun

AN 'AH YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL' FOR THE 21ST CENTURY: Victoria Beckham and her husband, David, have "recorded a duet" - or rather Damon Dash has slapped a Beckham voicemail on one of the tracks on the new Posh album in a bid to try and persuade Telstar it's interesting enough to release ("because David is the only man for her to sing about.") Of course, the problem with this concept of a duet is one of the 'singers' is little more than a flat, dull monotone voice talking through banks of electronic equipment, and the other one belongs to a footballer. (Yes, we know you could have written that yourself, thank you.) ITV news reckons "the Beckhams will hope that the track puts a stop to persistent rumours that they are having marital problems." Yes, that'll do it - an old voicemail track of Derek calling Victoria saying "I'm really missing you" while she was off recording a pointless album with the bloke the tabloids are desperate to suggest she's shagging. Well, I'm convinced.