YOUR CHANCE TO TIME TRAVEL: It's one of the stock sci-fi stories: if you had built a time machine, would you go back in time to 1930s Germany with a rifle and knowledge of the whereabouts of Hitler; or perhaps back in time to save Franz Ferdinand, or at least perusade Paul not to go to the NME cover shoot with that shit moustache. Would you tamper with the timeline? And so it might be that in a few years time you find yourself wishing you had a machine that would let you go back and disrupt the creation of a "Scottish Westlife." Consider this warning of the auditions as your own personal Tardis. Apparently, BMG records are looking for good-looking, great singing, nifty dancing males between the ages of 16 and 24 - so not going to be totally like Westlife, then, as they've got to be good looking, sing and dance rather than just be young males of a certain age, but we're still scared.