LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS: It seems that Christina wants to bend Britney over a table, greedily hitch up her skirt and rip off those lacy undies, licking her thighs and letting... oh, hang on; "heal the rift" between her and Britney Spears. In a letter she sent to Britney's house, Christina says "After that night at the MTV awards, I stole your panties - I hope you don't mind, but I just wanted a piece of you. Some nights, I sleep with them pressed to my face, breathing in the smell of your deepest secret..." Oh, hang on, it's "Let's be friends again. We're both deep in this music business, which can get nasty. People take things we say out of context. But we're more similar than we are different - with the same worries and concerns." Not quite, Christina; Britney's not worried that she may have got an infection the last time she replaced her piercing.