DARTH WHEELER?: Okay, then, why else would Ash be going for "secret" talks with George Lucas unless it's something to do with the last part of the first segment of the Star Wars trilogy? Unless, of course, Lucas is going to try and persuade Charlotte to dress up as Leia in the slave-girl outfit. Or Tim. We're not bothered. They're due to hook up with Lucas on the Skywalker Ranch next month. And we're supposing it's unlikely that Lucas is going to abandon the operatic theme tunes for an indie-rock love song, so surely we're talking cameo appearances? It might be idle specualtion, but anything that stops us from fretting on what David Beckham's penis is going have making it so distinctive, we're happy to run with it.