No Rock And Roll Fun

DAMN, NOEL EDMONDS MISSED A TRICK: Mariah Carey's star has fallen so sharply - although not without providing cash rewards as it did so - she's been reduced to a walk-on role in Funkmaster Flex's Rapping Top Gear programme. Mariah features shopping for a helicopter with him - we're not sure what she plans to do with it when she's bought one; our bets are split between creating a new star vehicle for herself, viz. Mariah Carey's Treasure Hunt; dropping 'please buy my album' leaflets from the sky; or maybe just to get ready for the next time she needs to beat a quick retreat from a live performance.