Tuesday, May 04, 2004

IT'S THE WORLD OF R KELLY: It's hard not to view everything R Kelly does as his way of preparing to spend some time wearing orange dungarees breaking rocks. So, when he tells Vibe magazine all about how he loves boxing, we read this as a warning to the guys in B-Wing that he ain't no pushover; (the reassurance that he doesn't think the sport will damage his looks, of course, is a cheeky wink to the guys over in F-wing); the complicated sounding rush-release of seven albums seems less like an act of a totally deluded solipsist (R Kelly does music in a German style? With an oompah band, presumably?), more someone racking up the work to keep him in snout and tinned pineapple for the next couple of years; and "poor me, I had a nomadic childhood and I weren't too good with the book-learning" just stinks of a plea to the jury. Maybe he's going to try and claim that his adding up was so poor, he didn't realise that thirteen came before sixteen, and not after. Still, his confession that "Sometimes I don't feel my spelling is correct like everybody else's. I'm a little slower when it comes to things like that" explains why he went for a single letter instead of a tricky name - if he'd recorded under the name Reginald Kelly, the queues for autographs would have built up round the block.

But don't let yourself get fooled: Kelly isn't getting in touch with his humble side:

"My talent has overwhelmed me - it automatically beats the pen and pad to the punch. Lyrics come just like that, out of nowhere. God blessed me with a talent I don't see anybody else with.

Hmm. He does actually make it sound like his creative process is on a par with a cat sicking up a furball, although he doesn't seem to get the similarity.


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