No Rock And Roll Fun

"LOOK AT ME... PLEASE, LOOK AT ME": Further evidence that time has moved on and left Madonna looking more than a little desperate comes with the news that she's planning to make her new stage show "the most shocking yet" - we think she means shocking as in "good god, that's shaking the very foundations of everything I hold dear", but it looks more like it'll be shocking as in "the state of traffic in Brighton city centre these days is just shocking": Simulated lesbian sex (yawn), images of war on a big screen ("note to self: see if Bono has finished with Zoo tour video"), Madonna being strapped in an electric chair (hands up who else liked No Doubt's It's My Life promo) and "a parade of scantily-clad pregnant women" - one for Patrick from Coupling there, then.

If you needed any more proof that Madonna isn't Madonna any more - they're having to leak the details to the papers in a bid to try and get anyone interested at all.