No Rock And Roll Fun

GLASTONBURY ROUND-UP: Well, McCartney seems to have gone down rather well... BBC News Online reports some "good natured" ribbing from those cheeky monkeys, the younger generation. And from BBC News, actually: "Whipping off his jacket, there was a touch of Tony Blair about his attempts to speak to the Glastonbury crowd in a language they would understand. "Standing in the conference of ley lines we are buzzing," he said, prompting further sniggers by adopting rasta and Scouse accents, using the words "groovy" and "cool" and declaring: "We are digging it!"

6Music reported that Noel had to watch the show from the front - far from the rumoured Oasis guest appearance, McCartney even refused them passes to watch from the comfort of the posh zone. In common with the rest of the entire world, 6 were hugely enthused by the Killers (surely the breakthrough act of this year's festival) and Hope of the States, though they were very snarky about Starsailor.

The Guardian's Betty Clarke liked Keane, despite their "Big Countryisms"; she has a moment during the Scissor Sisters: Playing off Ana Matronic who announces herself to be a 'drag goon', and waltzes on stage in a tight dress sheathed in chiffon and tied to her wrists, like Bette Midler on casual Friday, Shears's falsetto vocals and edgy keyboards successfully recreate a debauched Saturday night in a New York club on a drizzly Saturday afternoon in a mud-covered field. "The sun will come out," Ana Matronic announces, "shooting from Jake's ass." It's a possibility, as he hits the high notes and wiggles his bum beguilingly.

Her Guardian colleague Dorian Lynskey got the other sisters, Sledge, who she reckons seem like a great idea on paper but on paper they don't have a solo-happy guitarist and a keyboard-player smugger than Giles Brandreth with a winning lottery ticket. The two remaining sisters smile until their faces ache and take a courageous stand against "violence, hatred and stupid things."

In the slightly hidden nme reviews (tucked away behind an advert for cider - not the sort of cider you get at Glastonbury, sold by farm boys on the road outside in plastic jugs you suspect may previously have been used to store paraquat; it's Strongbow who are underwriting the NME festival team's spiced goat and spare blankets from Joe Bananas this year), Tim Jonze was slightly doolally at the sight of the Sledge: " Also I fancy the one on the left. If she was part of my family I’d be all for incest." There's been no word from him since.

I know it's easy to be critical, but I'm a bit surprised how long its taking some of the supposedly live services to get their reviews online - yes, yes, as Donald Rumsfeld was observing to David Frost a bit earlier how easy it is for people sat in air-conditioned offices to critique those on the front line, but it's over twelve hours since Paul McCartney wandered off going "right, where's the bloody helicopter, then?" and still, nothing from the nme or The Guardian - 6Music's Glasto blog hasn't been updated since 5.30 last night. Are they all relying on the sun to power their laptops? Kudos, then, to Playlouder for actually getting their reviews online fairly swiftly. Iain Moffat was especially taken with the fireworks during Live and Let Die: "But, really, Best Use Of Pyrotechnics! EVER!"; somehow, he also made it to see The Killers on the New Bands Stage: "You know how Franz Ferdinand have always said they were trying to make music for girls to dance to? Well, the Killers are making music that you can put posters up to, throw the most beautiful shapes you've got in your repertoire to, and then sneer wisely at those who don't understand over."

Elsewhere, Lostprophets covered The Strokes in the midst of a set that seemed solely concerned with how hard they are: singer Ian Watkins relished in their renegade status as the self-proclaimed “heaviest band of the festival” and screaming to the rain-soaked crowd, "Are you ready to fuckin’ do this??!’ before splitting the crowd down the middle in a “wall of death”. There's been no news yet on if Billy Bragg's turned up to do a "surprise" set, although Norman Cook has, being moved from the Glade to The Field of Lost Vagueness to "cope with demand." There's a visit expected today from The Bishop of Bath and Wells - if that batty woman who built the giant cross in the field next door is still around, she'll probably view that as being just a station short of the full-on four horseman and whore of babylon deal. People hoping to take in just the last day of the festival will have had a frustrating journey to Pilton following the closure of one of the main routes towards the village after an accident early this morning.

And, finally for now, a quick mention for glastoblog, which we suspect might be being composed on a mobile phone...