ZERO TOLERANCE?: It's not often The Sharon Osbourne Show leaves you with anything other than a desperate desire to scrub your eyeballs clean, but her announcement that she would cheerfully have shot Ozzy when he was trying to strangle her does give us a curious pause for thought. Sharon seems to think that it would have been a terrible mistake to have offed him - geese/golden egg territory here, we suppose, but, nevertheless, it is a heartwarming story of money and exceedingly strong medication overcoming the family dysfunction. We're not sure what Sharon's message for the battered wives of America was actually meant to have been: don't fight back, you could end up with your own chat show? Take back your abusive dick-wipe husband, it can turn out alright?