No Rock And Roll Fun

RETURN (TO THE CELLS) OF THE MACK: A couple of years back, I was in Denver, being shown the city's Big Gay Park. After a couple of minutes of playing spot the chicken, we came across a large podium, upon which was a huge set of speakers, pumping out Mark Morrison's 'Return of the Mack.' "That's funny" I said to my companion, "I wouldn't have thought Mark Morrison was popular here." My companion, an American, looked puzzled and said "I've never heard of him or that song before," she said. We then realised that the sound was playing out from an empty stage, across an empty area of the Gay Park. It was all a rather puzzling experience, and in no way related to the news that mark Morrison has been arrested on suspicion of assault and affray in Leicester. Mark claims its all unlawful arrest, false imprisonment and even - yes - police assault. What happened - according to Mark - is that a bloke approached him. He assumed this guy was a fan (which sounds fishy already - when would have been the last time anyone recognised him?), and was a little surprised to be sucker-punched instead. This assailant then stole Mark's valuable necklace - it was made of platinum, or possibly by Platignum, we're a bit hazy on the details - and ran away. Mark followed him, hooting "stop, thief!" only to be intercepted by eight security men who threw him out. The police then decided that they'd arrest Mark - "the police arrested me and threw me down to the ground and I sustained injuries to my lip, my eye and the back of my head. I was assaulted in the street" says Mark.

Oddly enough, Mark's got a single out right now. Funny, that, eh? And almost certainly in no way related to the general hoopla his label boss Kevin Campbell (yes, the Everton striker) is barking up about the incident, putting up a twenty grand reward for the return of the choker and being slightly odd with BBC News Online:

Campbell said the incident was a "catastrophe" for his new single.
"On his part it's frustration - he wants to get on and do things the right way," he told BBC News Online.
"But it seems sometimes nature has a way of trying to drag you back down and get involved in the wrong sort of publicity, which is what he's been trying so hard to eradicate from his life.
"We've got to try to think positive - we don't want Mark spiralling back into the old ways. This is the new Mark."

So, to try and avoid "the wrong type of publicity", Kevin's been going round doing interviews about the incident and putting up tonnes of cash for information and generally attempting to get as much coverage of this as possible. Hmmm.