Thursday, August 12, 2004

YES, MOBY. OF COURSE. AND THEN DID YOU GO TO SPACE MOUNTAIN AND DID THEY THEN OPEN SPACE MOUNTAIN UP JUST FOR YOU AND DID YOU THEN HAVE ALL THE RIDES YOU WANTED AND COULD TAKE ANY FOOD YOU WANTED FROM THE STALLS AND DID YOU HAVE THREE COKES?: Apparently, Moby managed to get to 38 without taking cocaine, but boy, has he made up for it: coke is a bad drug for someone who needs no help jabbering away in a self-obsessed fashion:

He said a lapdancer offered to dance for him, but he gave her $400 (about £220) just to talk, the New York Daily News reported.
The paper quotes Moby saying, "She gave me a bag of cocaine. I'm 38, but I'd never done coke before. I didn't know you were supposed to share."
When Moby told told the stripper he had snorted all her cocaine she "got very aggressive" and he tried to calm her down by buying a $400 bottle of Champagne.
He said that around 2am after soiling his "sleazy Versace suit" during an emergency trip to the toilet he decided to return home.
Unable to sleep he called a former girlfriend who he claims offered to come over. Moby added, "We made love all night."

The terrible thing is, he thinks this sounds really cool, doesn't it? But it actually puts him mid-way between Christopher from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and Alan Partridge being smeared with chocolate mousse. Probably the saddest element is that he's such a bore he has to pay two hundred bucks to get someone to listen to him in the first place.

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