No Rock And Roll Fun

YOU'RE NO STARR: How low can people sink? We're shocked, and feel our trust has been trashed like a cheap backpack in a tsunami, by the news that someone is going round America pretending to be Ringo Starr. We're guessing the person is just someone who's been in a Beatles tribute band for too long and has forgotten that they're not actually the real Ringo, which would be an easy mistake for a drummer to make. Our hint for telling the Ringo from the Ringer is: get them to play the drums. If they can, they're almost certainly fake.

The Not-Ringo travels with four minders - or possibly people pretending to be minders and even got himself a booking on the Home Shopping Network. He was rumbled when someone noticed he was a lot lardier than the real thing; if only he's claimed to be Ringostarrante, or Cubit Ringonium, he would probably have been welcomed with open arms.