No Rock And Roll Fun

AND THAT'S MAG1C: Whoever thought you'd be rooting for Paul Daniels? Even if it came to a face-off with Vanilla Ice? Actually, whoever thought that there'd ever be a face-off between Vanilla Ice and the man who excels? Obviously, this is all something which is taking place down on the Channel Five celeb-poker The Farm (didn't Jonathan Creek satirically suggest this would be where reality TV would leave us a series or two back?). Daniels and Ice clashed over Iraq - apparently Margi Clarke and Stan Collymore were suggesting that there could be negotiations over Ken Bigley's release (no, he's not on the programme, he's in real life); Vanilla Ice kicked off sounding like, well, the sort of person his president will approve of:

"All Britain cares about is publicity. That's why you're going to negotiate with those weak-ass terrorists. You can't negotiate, that means they've won. We are the protectors, the superpower, and we will win!"

Paul and Van had a bit of a spat over it, and in the morning Paul decided he'd had enough of hanging out with half wits and quit - although the Lovely Debbie McGee elected to stay put on the show. Sadly, nobody had the good sense to ask Vanilla how if you can't negotiate with terrorists George Bush came to be lifting sanctions against Libya.