No Rock And Roll Fun

MORE LOOSE ENDS THAN TIED KNOTS: Well, it turns out that Britney isn't married this time round, either - some sort of paperwork hold-up means shes still Miss Spears and not Mrs. Federline. Apparently some four-page document turned up by Us magazine found an agreement between Britney and Fred to hold a faux marriage. So, they're not legal - but they do feel married:

Spears herself has said: "No pieces of paper can capture what I feel. I know we're not completely legal until we file the licence, which we will do next week, but in a spiritual sense, we're married."

Federline added: "We'll file our licence next week. We were advised to wait a certain grace period. More importantly, this was such a spiritual connection for us."

So, they're spiritually married, then. We're not sure what Fred actually means by "waiting a certain grace period" - is this some nicety of marriage ritual we've missed out on? Exchange vows, do the rings, cut the cake, go on honeymoon, wait a week, file the licence?

Apparently, the evening before the spiritual wedding, Fred and Britney spent the night together, listening to Phil Collins' greatest hits. Thereby proving that it really is bad luck if the groom sees the bride the night before the ceremony.