No Rock And Roll Fun

WASN'T THIS A THROWAWAY COLUMN IN THE GUARDIAN WEEKEND A FEW YEARS BACK?: Geri Halliwell's written a new song in which she details the shortcomings of her former lovers. Presumably she doesn't start with the one unifying weakness of them, in that they all had to have sex with Geri Halliwell, but it's no You're So Vain:

There was Peter, he was a cheater, who couldn't keep his hands to himself.
There was Ritchie, well he got bitchy, so I left him there on the shelf.
And there was David, when he got naked, he didn't have much up or downstairs.

She says she's changed the names - presumably because she can't come up with rhymes for "Chris" and "Robbie" - but she needn't have bothered to do so to protect the exes' blushes. After all, ripping the shit out of them on a Geri Halliwell song is hardly going to make a show of them in the way it would have done if she'd chosen a public forum.