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THE SEX LIFE OF THE POTATO WOMAN: Is it just us, or does Christina sound increasingly like those people who appear on Channel 4 and 5 documnetaries convinced their rather tame sex lives are fantastically outrageous?:
Pop star Christina Aguilera has revealed her kinky sex secrets and fantasies, and also admitted that she loves 'bondage sex'.
"If a lover wants to experiment with handcuffs, then that's fair enough for me," News of the World quoted Christina as saying.
"What's the point of holding back that side of your personality if it's horny and turns you both on," she added.
The belief that "experimenting with handcuffs" is on a par with bondage sex is like confusing Anne Summers with a sex shop, of course. Ooh, Christina, you're so daring. If only there was some vague sapphic-lite about you, too... Hang on:
"I must admit the idea of two women getting it on does do it for me as well. Women are beautiful creatures and the sight of them kissing or caressing each other is horny."
Everything's horny, huh?
If you need any further proof that Christina is actually a lot of talk and mostly tame, there's this:
"I've spotted guys in the crowd and thought, 'Wow, I like the look of you!' You do fantasise about inviting them backstage after the show," she said.
Surely someone who was really dirrrrrty wouldn't just stand there thinking "Ooh, imagine if I took him for a vimto after the show"? Wouldn't it make more sense to be sending the roadies out into the crowd?
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
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5 comments:
I'm sorry, I'll side with you, meester XRRF - Handcuffs may form part of le sex du bondage, but in my opinion they are the Travis, the Coldplay or the Keane of bondage... to some people the real deal, to other people a laughably weak excuse for a good time.
Each to, uh, their own.
Fact Checkin' Cuz
Stand-up comedian Daniel Kitson (Spencer in
Phoenix Nights) was on tour a few months ago.
After his gig in Dublin Daniel retired to his
hotel room. He quickly realised he could hear
the couple in the next room having sex really
loudly. Dan calls his friends into the room
and they lay on the bed listening to the
shagging for hours, which was occasionally
enlivened by a woman screaming to be "fucked
in the ass, big boy".
The next morning he mentioned his noisy neighbour
to reception. The receptionist smiled and replied,
"Apologies Mr. Kitson, you're not the first guest
to complain about Ms. Aguilera's noise!"
Thank you, Cuz. Very nicely put.
Yes, Jack, there are handcuffs and there are handcuffs, and, strictly speaking, I suppose those furry handcuffs that you can buy in high street stores do count as bondage. It's just that, surely, saying "I'm really into bondage" and then saying "If a bloke wants to use handcuffs that's okay" isn't quite the same thing. Wouldn't someone who was into bondage be instigating rather than merely acceding?
If you said in a personal ad you were into bondage and really meant you use handcuffs, you're either going to wind up probably rather frightened and/or your partner will be very disappointed indeed. At most, you could call it 'light bondage' but its a simple mistake people make - it's like saying you love France when you've only been to Paris.
Aguerlera strikes me as the Sally Jockstrap of sex - she knows the general principles but she doesn't really know the specifics. I would be happy to show her, if she would like to get in touch.
Jack...
I'm guessing you don't know Simon, do you...
probably not wise to tell someone who owns enough body wrap to immobilise the elephants at chester zoo and has his own pony bridle that he don't know nothing 'bout bondage, boy...
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