No Rock And Roll Fun

THAT'S SPRING RUINED: Good news if you've turned into your dad at some point in the last few years, as there's been a statement warning of a new Santana album. The document from the gurning guitarist fundamentalist, which the CIA has confirmed is genuine reads:

"Since the spring of 2004, Santana has been in the studio working on a new album, due out in spring of 2005. The album has some amazing Santana Band songs and some tight collaborations with guest artists that you will surely hear on your favorite radio stations this summer. After a holiday break, Carlos and members of the Band are back in the studio putting the finishing touches on the album. At this time, Carlos is also overseeing all aspects of the albums artwork".

The State Department has raised the terror alert for dinner parties and half-empty pubs in Camden during the afternoons to Red.