No Rock And Roll Fun

THE CHANCES OF A BEYONCE-CHRISSIE HYNDE DUET LAYS IN TATTERS: Ah, nothing like the coming together of two organisations who share each other's aims and ideals completely. For example, the McDonalds-Destiny's Child hook-up, which might have seemed to you as little more than a graspy multinational attempting to buy some credibility by buying up a band. Actually, it turns out that it is a multi-dimensional global relationship with [a] R&B super group, and it's about to go to another level as McDonalds sponsor the Child's 2005 tour. Beyonce is very excited about it:

“Our 2005 tour is going to be amazing and will really entertain our fans across the globe,” said Beyoncé Knowles, founding member of Destiny's Child. “McDonald's definitely shares our passion for music, and we have a lot of fun and exciting things coming up with them including TV commercials, special restaurant promotions and our role as global ambassadors for World Children's Day.”

McDonalds really does share Destony's Child passion for music - sometimes, you know, we spend ten or twenty minutes stood at the drive-thru window of our local McDs chatting about the relative merits of the two recent Bright Eyes releases. They love it - we suggest if you have some time to kill, you should pop down and ask your serveyperson what sort of music they like.

And there'll be some exciting stuff going on on World Children's Day, too, just like Beyonce says. Of course, quite what UNICEF is doing taking cash from McDonalds to promote the interests of children everywhere is a question greater minds than ours has been pondering, but we really do look forward to those exciting TV commercials.

Meanwhile, Larry Light, McDonalds Vice President and Global Chief Marketing Office (two important jobs, and he also sometimes drives the Hamburglar to the ER when he gets that nasty cough after too many beef patties) is equally thrilled to find that he's been able to buy Destiny's Child - the original Independent Women, if we remember rightly.

“Just like McDonald's, the popularity of Destiny's Child knows no geographic boundaries, and this incredible tour brings that universal appeal to life in multiple cultures, continents and communities,. Music continues to be at the forefront of our leadership marketing strategy. Our sponsorship of the tour is a great example of how this partnership helps McDonald's reach consumers worldwide through the universal language of music.”

See? We might have given the impression we thought the McDonalds keeness for music was all a front, but that would be so unfair. This is a company who really feel that music is the most important thing you need for your leadership marketing strategy. Remember that feel when you were in your teens, perhaps younger, and heard a song and for the first time thought "Wow, that really is a leadership marketing strategy, right there"? Well, working for McDonalds is like that every day.

So, the tour swooshes Destiny's Child around the globe, all underwritten by those nice people at McDonalds. Fittingly, the tour starts at Hiroshima, Japan. Now, there's a place that has a special place in the hearts of McDonalds. What was their aim for Japan? Wasn't there something about it in the McLibel trial?

A statement was read to the court from Den Fujita, president of McDonald's, Japan, indicating that "the reason Japanese people are so short and have yellow skin is because they have eaten nothing but fish and rice for 2,000 years; if we eat McDonald's hamburgers and potatoes for a thousand years we will become taller, our skin will become white and our hair blonde."

We're sure Beyonce will be happy to be part of that, helping out with fun TV commercials and store promotions.

More about Destiny Child's sponsors: McLibel - Burger Culture on Trial
music beyonce destinys child mcdonald