THE END OF THE DROUGHT

American scientists have expressed relief that the long-running drought of stories about Britney Spears being pregnant has ended. It had been almost three weeks since anyone had observed behaviour that would lead to the appearance of 'Is Britney pregnant' stories in the press, and concerns had been expressed that without something, the gossip pages would have been forced to fall back onto speculation about the date of Christina Aguilera's wedding for possibly the whole of the summer. However, jubilation has broken out amongst observers following Britney telling baby store staff that she's 'nine weeks pregnant'. "This is brilliant news for us" said an observer, "as it's more than enough to ensure we can run another two months worth of long-lens pictures of Spears' belly with 'is he or isn't she' captions."

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