No Rock And Roll Fun

EUROVISION HEAT: IN PICTURES: Fools! How could you have taken against Gina G? Stupidly, she came in last...



... but at least we didn't send this to Kiev:



Although there's something about Jordan's performance that reminds us of that delicacy, the chicken kiev, although we're not sure why. After all, a chicken kiev is some dubious old meat, steamed off the bone, which threatens to shoot a hot jet of greasy, buttery juice into your eye if you don't approach it with care...

Javine seems to have taken an all-out approach to the challenge of Jordan's pneumatic emptiness...



... and victory was hers. Here she is picking up her lifesize Terry Wogan statuette:



Be your own Eurovision expert with this:


It's an official history, but - oddly - seems to be very focused on the UK acts on the cover, there. We wonder if there's separate editions featuring local acts all over the continent? With an Irish one featuring thousands of Johnny Logans, one after the other?

music eurovision javine jordan gina g